by Anonymous
This blog exists because we love you. Its just that simple. We love you, the SL horny wanderer. We love you, the horny genius SL creator! We love you so much we want everyone to have happy orgasms all the time! And we want to make that clear from the start.
Thank you for all the goodness you have thrown our way in return! ES is committed to trust, honesty, and professionalism. Most of you get it and you make every exhausting 4am photo shoot worthwhile. We live to serve you. No, really.
Sadly, not everyone is as awesome as you are. I recently had a very negative experience at a club I adored and frequented tirelessly. Like many of the places we review, it was mostly dead...so I used it continually as a backdrop for photo shoots (posting real time slurls in my profile for naughtys). I TPd people in whenever I could, I actively dragged people to events and I gave it a prominent tab on my in-world profile. I also gave it a glowing review here - and altered the actual ES score from a 3 to a 5 as temporary encouragement (I was confident the numbers would go up on their own as more people started visiting - and they have!).
ES staff spends hundreds of unpaid hours promoting sims we love because we truly believe that undiscovered SL diamonds desperately need exposure! That is, in fact, why this blog exists. In reality, it is just as hard for SL businesses to succeed as RL businesses. ES tries its hardest to change that in your favor. We recently we added a Flickr site and started entering contests to increase exposure for these venues and will keep expanding our reach.
None of us expect much for our work on this blog and we certainly don't ask for anything. I do believe, however, that respect is what everyone - not just ES reporters - deserve. Its what humans deserve. And, yes, a little gratitude or appreciation is nice. Not expected, but always appreciated, certainly! After all, we want you to be happy so we can be happy all over your stuff. With you, if we're lucky.
After careful consideration, I revised the blog post for this club to reflect the actual math, and added a lighthearted mention of the exchange because it was 1. funny, and 2. unsuspecting visitors should be warned of the creator's moodiness, however silly.
I continued to promote this club because it didn't stop being awesome, even if I no longer visited. Most people expected me to blacklist it and throw a fit for some reason. That's ridiculous and frankly unprofessional (also immature, FYI). So, because that creator acted like a fool I have to? Why would I waste time I could be elsewhere, fucking? The people I live to serve are out there, and they need me! They probably need me naked! Get the lube, I'm on my way...
Everyone doesn't get along forever. That's life. That is also SL and lets face it, We Know Drama (I happen to be deathly allergic to drama but that's just me and I know I am the minority in SL on this one). Thankfully, most of you get that too!
I also stay friends with my ex-boyfriends. I'm an adult.
Its tempting to use this blog as a personal platform but that is usually inappropriate (unless we are blasting idiotic SL tendencies or something, then its all good). ES is about trust, honesty, and professionalism. If our reviews pinged on our personal relationships we wouldn't have many for long - of either.
And we want lots and lots of both. Because we love you....long time!
Monday, May 16, 2016
Friday, March 4, 2016
4 - Dark Alley: NOT your average RP/Bondage sim!
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Thursday, March 3, 2016
6 - Extasia Isle: Sex in Stunning Detail
by Penny London
Score: 0= bad, 5=best
5 Design
5 Uniqueness
5 Animations
3 Crowded
3 Pervable
-- Staff
5 Ambient sound (windchimes)
3 Music (contemporary upbeat http://108.61.73.118:8032 181FM)
5 Going stag?
3 Noobs
5 Lag
TOTAL: 5 isn't good enough, I'm giving a 6. Yes, a gratuitous 6. It deserves every point!
This sim is named appropriately. It is an escape on every level, and mind-bogglingly awesome! Stunning doesn't cover it, Extasia has it all and then some, from up-to-date animations to wooded glens to a magical floating locations with drifting stars for rain. It is a huge sim and not easily explored, every corner has a rug or a chair or a dance ball cleverly tucked away. The design here is exceptional, every detail is planned and precise.
The landing point Mansion and Club Clandestine, below it.
The Roman bath.
During my last trip I visited the underground mine maze and stumbled into their concert venue with two truly exceptional SL vocalists! Since I do love the land music stream it's notable that I turned this off and stayed for the shows (Chillee Hernandoz and Johnny Paramour). Bravo, club booking agent!
The Gold Mine venue, fun and casual.
As if this isn't enough, there are also Pandora Caves and underwater venues - my personal favorite. Everything is just the best SL has to offer and updated frequently.
The enchanting Pandora Caves and underwater venue!
In fact, there are panoramic views almost everywhere you look here. In line with that, there are discrete teleports placed throughout the sim. On my next trip I discovered Winterland, and noticed on the TP menu that there is an Oasis and Video location that I have yet to explore!
Just one of the many panoramic views!
Winterland - with the northern lights, and another shot showing the meticulous attention to detail.
The teleports are also one of my least favorite aspects. Though I do approve of the elegant design, they are hard to see and combined with the size and varied nature of this sim it is very hard to get your bearings. I created am "Extasia"folder in my landmark folder and just filled it with LMs . Also, this shockingly lag-free sim is not crowded enough, and frequently the visitors are already paired up!
While writing this piece, I was TP'd here by different people for various reasons and had a great time every time. Nice? More than! And again, it's a free sim but the noob factor is negligible. Like Maran's Landing the girls are good, the men are mid-noob to hot!
I can't say enough about Extasia. Pack a lunch and explore every nook and cranny. If you bring a date, pack condoms!
Tip:
1. Landmark frequently.
2. TIP to keep these venues alive!
3. Seriously, drop what you're doing and go right now.
ESCAPE TO EXTASIA
Penny has even more photos in her profile!
Score: 0= bad, 5=best
5 Design
5 Uniqueness
5 Animations
3 Crowded
3 Pervable
-- Staff
5 Ambient sound (windchimes)
3 Music (contemporary upbeat http://108.61.73.118:8032 181FM)
5 Going stag?
3 Noobs
5 Lag
TOTAL: 5 isn't good enough, I'm giving a 6. Yes, a gratuitous 6. It deserves every point!
This sim is named appropriately. It is an escape on every level, and mind-bogglingly awesome! Stunning doesn't cover it, Extasia has it all and then some, from up-to-date animations to wooded glens to a magical floating locations with drifting stars for rain. It is a huge sim and not easily explored, every corner has a rug or a chair or a dance ball cleverly tucked away. The design here is exceptional, every detail is planned and precise.
During my last trip I visited the underground mine maze and stumbled into their concert venue with two truly exceptional SL vocalists! Since I do love the land music stream it's notable that I turned this off and stayed for the shows (Chillee Hernandoz and Johnny Paramour). Bravo, club booking agent!
As if this isn't enough, there are also Pandora Caves and underwater venues - my personal favorite. Everything is just the best SL has to offer and updated frequently.
In fact, there are panoramic views almost everywhere you look here. In line with that, there are discrete teleports placed throughout the sim. On my next trip I discovered Winterland, and noticed on the TP menu that there is an Oasis and Video location that I have yet to explore!
The teleports are also one of my least favorite aspects. Though I do approve of the elegant design, they are hard to see and combined with the size and varied nature of this sim it is very hard to get your bearings. I created am "Extasia"folder in my landmark folder and just filled it with LMs . Also, this shockingly lag-free sim is not crowded enough, and frequently the visitors are already paired up!
While writing this piece, I was TP'd here by different people for various reasons and had a great time every time. Nice? More than! And again, it's a free sim but the noob factor is negligible. Like Maran's Landing the girls are good, the men are mid-noob to hot!
I can't say enough about Extasia. Pack a lunch and explore every nook and cranny. If you bring a date, pack condoms!
Tip:
1. Landmark frequently.
2. TIP to keep these venues alive!
3. Seriously, drop what you're doing and go right now.
ESCAPE TO EXTASIA
Monday, January 4, 2016
3 - Hydra
by Anonymous
Score: 0= bad, 5=best
5 Design
5 Uniqueness
Ah, Hydra. My second home away from home.
Hydra is what Teqi's wants to be - cheeky and cool. The stunning "TRON:2020" design of the club is beyond unique. In fact, this place is so gorgeous I frequently hijack it for photo shoots.
You
can see why I compare this first rate club to Teqi's. You can also
see that Hydra is way too empty! I truly don't get it, there
is exponentially more and better sex available here - with better perving! The clientele here is GORGEOUS and when I say GORGEOUS I mean beautiful and interesting. Most importantly, everyone I meet is not only nice but polite, outgoing and talented. Teqi's features wall-to-wall assholes.
Time to change the status quo, people!
Both Hydra and Seductions feature skilled DJs. Yes this is a European club and its true what they say about their addition to trans/club music. I am finding many varieties of this genre that range from "fun and dancey" to "ambient" to "so repetitive I want to die." The good news is that they are LOOKING TO HIRE MORE PEOPLE! Currently it runs on UK time (12am and 12 pm), but YOU can change that!
NOTES:
I keep advising people to be ingratiating! Perhaps I should offer a definition of that word?
Tip:
#1: This place is on Euro time for now so the chat group isn't always active. HOWEVER it is worth a shot to give a shout out and see what happens. Otherwise, TP your date in to explore the build or shoot photos. I've had lots of unexpected sex that way ;)
#2: Speaking of tips - we love open tip jars. Exhibitionists like me don't need much encouragement (so outta my way - this top is coming OFF!) Unfortunately the tip jars here are psycho and by that I mean they are mis-labled and Conor (the owner) keeps changing them from open to closed. Now that I think about it, he likes to move the landing spot around too. Maybe its a Conor thing. Anyway, this confused the Hell out of me so I asked him about it and apparently there was some friction over the tip jars. Avoid them, its not worth it.
#3: Whatever you do, DON'T ask Conor about the tip jars!
GO TO HYDRA NOW!
Score: 0= bad, 5=best
5 Design
5 Uniqueness
3 Animations (high quality, unique, everywhere - but dramatically out of alignment. This is a real buzzkill when the mood strikes and you wind up fucking necks)
0 Crowded (busy during events - busier since this post dropped ;)
3 Pervable (would be amazing if more people came. Literally.)
4 Staff (almost everyone here is fantastic and every single one is HOT!)
-- Ambient sound (none)
2 Music (trance dance - not my thing but very Euro)
0 Going stag?
5 Lag
5 Lag
5 Noobs:
TOTAL =3.2Ah, Hydra. My second home away from home.
Hydra is what Teqi's wants to be - cheeky and cool. The stunning "TRON:2020" design of the club is beyond unique. In fact, this place is so gorgeous I frequently hijack it for photo shoots.
Portrait of a lady. At a sex club.
Blending in with the upscale Eurotrash.
Lots of room to...dance!
Like Lizard Lounge, Hydra is full of nooks and crannies to get naked in
explore. Again, the animations here are current, creative, and in
absolutely everything! I mean that. There are some interesting solo
animations in the spinning, hovering dance wheels and bring condoms onto
the dance floor if-ya-know-what-I-mean.
Across the sidewalk from Hydra is "Seductions," and if Hydra is
clever, Seductions is MENSA. Seductions is laid out in an interwoven cluster of pod-like
rooms that writhe in and around like...hmmm...a tentacled sea creature of some sort. Each pod has a different flavor and I mean to get naked in all of them. Since every time I go I find another hidden pod 'o sin, this may take a delightfully long time!
Ooooh - look! A pod! Everything shimmers with advanced lighting, for the full effect click here.
A more secluded pod! I'm pretty sure I left my panties somewhere by the couch.
Yup. I did.
Wait..what? Where did this come from? I just found this now!
Time to change the status quo, people!
Both Hydra and Seductions feature skilled DJs. Yes this is a European club and its true what they say about their addition to trans/club music. I am finding many varieties of this genre that range from "fun and dancey" to "ambient" to "so repetitive I want to die." The good news is that they are LOOKING TO HIRE MORE PEOPLE! Currently it runs on UK time (12am and 12 pm), but YOU can change that!
NOTES:
I keep advising people to be ingratiating! Perhaps I should offer a definition of that word?
Tip:
#1: This place is on Euro time for now so the chat group isn't always active. HOWEVER it is worth a shot to give a shout out and see what happens. Otherwise, TP your date in to explore the build or shoot photos. I've had lots of unexpected sex that way ;)
#2: Speaking of tips - we love open tip jars. Exhibitionists like me don't need much encouragement (so outta my way - this top is coming OFF!) Unfortunately the tip jars here are psycho and by that I mean they are mis-labled and Conor (the owner) keeps changing them from open to closed. Now that I think about it, he likes to move the landing spot around too. Maybe its a Conor thing. Anyway, this confused the Hell out of me so I asked him about it and apparently there was some friction over the tip jars. Avoid them, its not worth it.
#3: Whatever you do, DON'T ask Conor about the tip jars!
GO TO HYDRA NOW!
Bathed in Hydra- and after- glow!
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