I've been in Second Life for 5 years. In SL terms, this makes me extremely old.
In that time I have seen the platform grow and advance in amazing ways. The creativity that rules the grid is simply mind-blowing. Its definitely a place where you can let your hair down or take it off and implant blue neon whips instead. Whatever you want, even things you didn't know you wanted, it's all there. And it's all advancing at mock speeds. Especially if you want to fuck on a dirty gas station floor - and it's been that way since 2005, unchanged!
And herein lies the problem.
Ah, the SL sex industry. You've all been there, and if you haven't you've heard about it. The SL sex industry is advancing at mock speeds. The poses and animations have started to successfully mimic real life and are improved almost daily. There are remote controlled real life toys now that you control from your actions in-world. The only thing that doesn't seem to be changing is the setting: a 16 year old boy's sex fantasy.
This presents a problem for those of us that have moved out of our mother's basement and actually experienced real life. And real life sex which, by the way, does NOT happen on a dirty gas station bathroom floor. If you are in a romantic relationship, are female, or have actually been in a dirty gas station bathroom you need other options - and the SL pickin's are shamefully slim.
What we find in SL is that art imitates life, and keeping sex interesting is just as hard in your Second as you First life. Harder, in fact, as the same animations over and over again in the comfort of the fully functional sex bed you spent real money on start to look stale almost immediately. Not to mention, Second Life sex toys are like new cars - they are old the second you drive them off the lot.
For this reason there are themed venues. And that creativity I mentioned? Follow my links.
There will be no nasty bathrooms on this blog.
Instead, there will be the beautiful, creative, fantastic adult locations that feature interesting and/or current animations. These have been painstakingly vetted by yours truly and friends, and discovered after years of searching, step by lagging step. This blog exists to help you get lucky on a date. So the next time you find yourself in-world with an interesting hottie and a conversation that has suddenly turned into a hot date, open up this blog in a different window and show her (or him) the time of their life!
I will also not review any sim that is flooded with noobs. We ALL hate noobs!
Photos for locations are located in the reporter's profile where noted, linked to right. Why pay to upload?
For now, I'm using the scoring system below. The total points will be listed in the title of the post for ease of viewing.
Score: 0= bad, 5=best
Design (quality)
Uniqueness
Animations (quality)
Crowded (avatars present)
Pervable (couples (+) being ...elegantly shameless!)
Staff
Ambient sound (for annoyingly loud surf or the pleasant ding of windchimes)
Music (is the stream annoying, ignorable or pleasant?)
Going stag? (this is for the ladies mostly. Do people talk to you and if so, are they stupid?)
Lag
NOOBS (HATE! NOOBS! Noobs will get rid of the real SL patrons fast. The first rule of SLexing is: if you don't spend any time on your avatar, you won't spend any time with us!)
TOTAL (basic math, to be shown at blog title)
Also, check my "tips" section for a crash course in successful navigation of each sim.
And by all means, send me your suggestions! I'm only one avi after all and I can't possibly have this much sex. I'll even give you an "Intrepid Reporter" credit!
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